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March 22, 2003

Caption Contest

tori.jpg

You know what to do

ack.jpg

Posted by Sean-Paul @ 03/22/2003 05:20 PM | TrackBack




Comments:


Neopolitan Icecream

Posted by: Jim on March 22, 2003 05:23 PM



Rejected and dejected at the Spring/Summer Roadside Fashion Show

Posted by: Ben Guthrie on March 22, 2003 05:23 PM



HOLY GOD! $$^#(*&#*@*@(@#*#(!

Posted by: Aaron on March 22, 2003 05:24 PM



Hooray for the Red, Brown and Blue!

Posted by: Charles on March 22, 2003 05:25 PM



What a day to have a "bad dress day"!

Posted by: Kent on March 22, 2003 05:25 PM



War rations put in place. First on the list: good taste.

Posted by: nicole bruni on March 22, 2003 05:27 PM



Twoface?

Posted by: nemo on March 22, 2003 05:27 PM



Not only does the administration look like the '80s, they now dress like it, too!

Posted by: lugal on March 22, 2003 05:28 PM



Easter isn't for a few weeks

Posted by: Kevin on March 22, 2003 05:30 PM



It reminds me of Spumoni ice cream.

Posted by: Illicit Taxonomy on March 22, 2003 05:31 PM



Charles, that's not brown. It's light gray and dark gray!

She's going for that "Pleasantville" look.

Posted by: Augusto on March 22, 2003 05:31 PM



nano camo demo malf

Posted by: Jon on March 22, 2003 05:31 PM



Must have only sold enough Mary Kay products for half of the outfit.

Posted by: kat on March 22, 2003 05:31 PM



People didn't dress like that in the 80s.

Posted by: Augusto on March 22, 2003 05:31 PM



Isn't the amazon in motley one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

Posted by: The Fool on March 22, 2003 05:32 PM



Signs of sabotage!

Posted by: mrBerlin on March 22, 2003 05:34 PM



"Mmm, Strawberry, no, no wait a minute I'll have chocolate, to hell with it, neopolitan"

That's my entry for the caption contest.

Thanks for taking the trouble to make such a great page too, it's very informative.

Posted by: Sy on March 22, 2003 05:34 PM



The left side's shock. the right side's awe.

Posted by: JoninCo on March 22, 2003 05:34 PM



SHE LOOKS LIKE THE COURT JESTER! Bush is loosing his job!

Posted by: Aaron on March 22, 2003 05:37 PM



Freedom Fashion (not from the Haute Couture Coalition)

Posted by: moeman on March 22, 2003 05:37 PM



Joan Rivers where are you now!!??

Posted by: egg on face on March 22, 2003 05:37 PM



The newsiest in ParisVirginia fashion?

Posted by: Brian on March 22, 2003 05:38 PM



The recipient of the 2003 Dr. Who Film Festival Tardis Award. The Tardis Award is presented to the festival's Best Dressed attendee.

Posted by: dilliwag on March 22, 2003 05:38 PM



Oh. My. Gawd!

Posted by: egg on face on March 22, 2003 05:39 PM



as a final insult to the french, screw fashon!

Posted by: jerkie on March 22, 2003 05:40 PM



Friends don't let friends dress drunk.

Posted by: The Fool on March 22, 2003 05:41 PM



Weapons of Mass Destruction??? She's wearing one!!!

Posted by: pontificator on March 22, 2003 05:41 PM



Mr Blackwell...paging Mr Blackwell

Posted by: egg on face on March 22, 2003 05:42 PM



Can we get a burka for Ms. Clarke?

Posted by: Robbo on March 22, 2003 05:42 PM



The Snozberries taste like snozberries!

Posted by: Pat Berry on March 22, 2003 05:43 PM



Psyops project: disorientation of the masses through "fashion" (test #13)

Next: Earth tones...

Posted by: Laura on March 22, 2003 05:45 PM



this was slightly touched upon before, but here's mine:

"Tori Clarke proudly showcases the administration's Neapolitian Complex"

Posted by: pesi on March 22, 2003 05:45 PM



It's the bi-polor oompa-loompa look. ("....I've got another problem for YOU...")

Posted by: Jodene on March 22, 2003 05:45 PM



SHOCKingly AWEful.

Posted by: dwg on March 22, 2003 05:46 PM



Striking a balance between femininity and warhawk is always difficult dahling, how about this mischevious little half pink / half khaki number? Ooh, it looks fabulous with your hair, sweetie!

Posted by: melior on March 22, 2003 05:47 PM



For once, where's Joan Rivers when we need her?

Posted by: slipknot on March 22, 2003 05:48 PM



"Shit... I think I left the stove on."

Posted by: squirrel on March 22, 2003 05:49 PM



"I have surrended my weapons of mass destruction, and as specified in the articles of surrender, I will also be wearing this wig and outrageous dress during my exile in Bahrain."

Posted by: Bryant on March 22, 2003 05:49 PM



ok ok we recind the embargo on french fashon. we have suffered enough.

Posted by: joseph on March 22, 2003 05:49 PM



Tasteless! A reflection of US Policy.

Posted by: Tarek Ali on March 22, 2003 05:50 PM



She's got a few shots of Russian Vodka before she dressed up.

I think I saw her in "Austin Powers"

Posted by: Tatiana on March 22, 2003 05:50 PM



From Alice in Wonderland, it figures.

Posted by: dfarr on March 22, 2003 05:51 PM



I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure

Posted by: Rancid Badger on March 22, 2003 05:52 PM



War ambivalence spreads.

Posted by: b on March 22, 2003 05:52 PM



Neofascistpolitan.

Posted by: vbfg on March 22, 2003 05:52 PM



Sporting the two-tone new Homeland Security Alert suit, Tori warns that the Browncoat Right is full of shit and the Pinko Left is about to get fucked.

Posted by: Cowboy Kahlil on March 22, 2003 05:53 PM



OOps, I meant 'Brownshirt'

Posted by: Cowboy Kahlil on March 22, 2003 05:54 PM



It looks brown (or tan) on my color-calibrated monitor. But in any case:

Hooray for the Red, Tan, and Blue.

Posted by: Charles on March 22, 2003 05:54 PM



Mommy chose my shoes, but I got to pick my dress!

Posted by: pericat on March 22, 2003 05:55 PM



Ari saw the footage on the news. Her outfit said, "Motel 6 at 8:00 p.m.).
--Ventura County, CA

Posted by: Darryl Pearce on March 22, 2003 05:56 PM



I thought her outfit was "BOLD" like her administration.

Posted by: Ellita Pearce on March 22, 2003 05:57 PM



"I Don't Use Cocaine!"

Posted by: Tatiana on March 22, 2003 05:57 PM



"War keeps me so busy, I can't keep track of my laundry mistakes."

Posted by: grubi on March 22, 2003 05:58 PM



"Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome. Please excuse my outfit. I had too much raspberry yogurt at lunch and some of it poured out my right ear."

Posted by: Seraphiel on March 22, 2003 06:02 PM



"Gotham City is now under the control of the Joker and the Penguin. Batman has been disabled. You are now at our mercy. Bwahahahaha!!!"

Posted by: Jon H on March 22, 2003 06:04 PM



a culmination of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

i guess the pink side is don't ask....

Posted by: sellthekids on March 22, 2003 06:06 PM



The war's first fashion victim!

Posted by: Mudshark on March 22, 2003 06:06 PM



Voiceover:

"Torie washed the left half of her outfit using ordinary detergent, and the right half in the blood of Iraqi civilians..."

Posted by: Swopa on March 22, 2003 06:06 PM



What's the big deal? It looked fine on my black and white TV.

Posted by: Erik on March 22, 2003 06:07 PM



The Axis of Bad Taste

Posted by: Guy Cabot on March 22, 2003 06:07 PM



Karen's back, and this poor woman is already caught in the crossfire between Hughes and Rove.

Posted by: The Mighty Reason Man on March 22, 2003 06:08 PM



Direct from the Runways of Paris and Kuwait, the Design Houses of Sy Hersh and Richard Perle have buried the hatchet by combinging Commie Pinko Terrorist Chic with Brown Shirt Flair to produce the definitive it look of this Spring's disinformation campaign. Take that Mr. Blackwell.

Posted by: Go Red Ox on March 22, 2003 06:11 PM



You guys think that looks hideous? Wait until you see the full thing;

http://home.tampabay.rr.com/sellmic/images/clarke_dont_adjust_your_tv.jpg

Posted by: Augusto on March 22, 2003 06:11 PM



Side view; Oh my God!

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/030322/170/3lcs1.html

Posted by: Augusto on March 22, 2003 06:19 PM



Do not be alarmed. This is only a test. Do not adjust your TV set. The Department of Homeland Security is working on new color codes for national security alerts.

Sincerely,

Tom Ridge, Director

Posted by: peter jung on March 22, 2003 06:19 PM



Shock and Awe

Shock that she'd wear it, Awe at her color blindness.

Posted by: Jo Fish on March 22, 2003 06:20 PM



It's Beverly Hills Camo.

Posted by: J. Michael Neal on March 22, 2003 06:23 PM



Sorry. Can't type funny caption on keyboard. Spewed 7-up all over it.

Posted by: Gary Frazier on March 22, 2003 06:24 PM



S N A F U

Posted by: moeman on March 22, 2003 06:31 PM



Actually, it is kind of a relief after seeing only "Nightscope Green" on the TV for the last few days.........

Posted by: Vicki on March 22, 2003 06:32 PM



This is a figment of my imagination - I think?

Posted by: VM's on March 22, 2003 06:40 PM



1. Feeling somewhat responsible for the cancellation of the red carpet at the Oscars, the Defense Dept. rolled out their own whacky fashions for the press and the American public

2. Few realized that 'Shock and Awe' referred to the Pentagon's new dress code, not the bombing campaign.

3. Some Defense Department officials were visibly divided on whether the Iraq invasion would lead to more terrorism.

4. Introducing the new Army camoflage for soldiers entering Baghdad after the bombing.

5. "Hi, I'm Mrs. Rumsfield."

6. "I assure you, the Bush Administration, is not making two-faced statements about the war."

7. "Hi, I'm Mrs. Reynolds."

8. "I'm from the Pentagon, and I'm here to help."

9. The Pentagon broadens the meaning of the word, 'courage.'

10. One Defense Department official was enthusiastic about the memo on recycling. "I'm doing it to support the troops," she said.


Posted by: AngryDesi on March 22, 2003 06:41 PM



"Oh! You said, 'state of the union ADdress!'"

Posted by: Baggins on March 22, 2003 06:44 PM



Space 1999 arrived four years late.

Posted by: Caca Rhodes on March 22, 2003 06:44 PM



Gonna dress you up in my war, all over your body

Posted by: Jonathan on March 22, 2003 06:45 PM



Today the UN passed Resolution 2092, finding the Pentagon guilty of unleashing a Wardrobe of Macular Destruction on innocent civilians worldwide.

Posted by: Caca Rhodes on March 22, 2003 06:50 PM



"Pradadidas: Designer jogging suits for every occasion"

Posted by: Danny on March 22, 2003 06:51 PM



More like a "fig newton" of my imagination

Posted by: DonS on March 22, 2003 06:52 PM



"....and for my first violation of the Geneva Conventions..."

Posted by: Nick on March 22, 2003 06:52 PM



Now that is a MOAB: a Mondrian Ocular Accosting Bomb

Posted by: cas on March 22, 2003 06:54 PM



"Arrrggggghhhhh. I give up!"- Saddam

Posted by: SH on March 22, 2003 06:56 PM



Proof the terrorists have won...

Posted by: tbogg on March 22, 2003 06:58 PM



Having lost the house pool on how many times the network anchors would use the terms "Shock and Awe," Ms. Clarke suffered the consequences of being forced to wear the jester's costume, much to the relief of Secretary Rumsfeld, who came in second to last.

She does, however, get to pick the costume for the next contest, rumoured to be how many Saddam Hussein doubles are captured during the invasion.

Posted by: Aard on March 22, 2003 06:58 PM



In a parallel of the Bush Administration's departure from traditional Republican philosophy, Tori Clarke says goodbye to Pat Nixon's "respectable Republican cloth coat" for something more radical.

Posted by: Incadenza on March 22, 2003 06:58 PM



Guest starring in the next episode of "What Not To Wear": Victoria Clarke!

Posted by: The Fool on March 22, 2003 07:00 PM



"In closing, I'd just like to thank my close friend Katherine Harris for letting me borrow the dress she wore to Barbara Olson's funeral."

Posted by: Caca Rhodes on March 22, 2003 07:03 PM



Tori Clarke announces her new job as Austin Powers' valet.

Posted by: Steve Paradis on March 22, 2003 07:07 PM



Star Trek reject -- beam her up!!!

Posted by: DonS on March 22, 2003 07:07 PM



"Yves Saint Laurent! Christian Dior! Come back! All is forgiven!"

Posted by: Randy Paul on March 22, 2003 07:10 PM



"Trading Dresses" or "While you were OUT"

Posted by: Tatiana on March 22, 2003 07:11 PM



Side view: "How many calories am I burning?"

Posted by: Insignificance on March 22, 2003 07:20 PM



She was straight from the Piet Mondrian War Strategy Think Tank, it is now official.

“As Mondrian always said -- say inside the lines, the enemy lines guys. NO more bombing Iran please, Halliburton has enough work already”.

Posted by: Cheryl on March 22, 2003 07:22 PM



...Pentagon fashions by Krusty the Clown of Beverly Hills.

Posted by: Michael LaMartina (Musings & Meanderings) on March 22, 2003 07:22 PM



In a stunning development, scientists at the University of Delaware tracked the sharp decline in the US birth rate to March 22, 2003, when over half the adult male population of the United States suddenly lost all sexual interest in women. At this time, scientists have no explanation.

Posted by: Caca Rhodes on March 22, 2003 07:24 PM



Oh God...please stop me before I shop again!!

Posted by: Michael LaMartina (Musings & Meanderings) on March 22, 2003 07:25 PM



All Your Dresses Are Belong To Us

Posted by: xNews on March 22, 2003 07:27 PM



I feel pretty, oh so pretty
I feel happy and lovely and gay

Posted by: Mark Mellon on March 22, 2003 07:29 PM



I can't believe no one has posted this tasteless caption yet (maybe they did... I couldn't read through all 100 posts):

"Ladies and Gentleman, allow me to introduce the Pentagon's fashion consultant, General Ray Charles!"

Posted by: Norbizness on March 22, 2003 07:29 PM



Tori Clarke's suit, our new "Weapon of Mass Distraction."

Posted by: Brian C.B. on March 22, 2003 07:32 PM



Ms. Clarke shows us the "shock" portion of Shock and Awe

Posted by: Craig on March 22, 2003 07:35 PM



Damn someone already took what I was going to say :(

"I regret to inform you that we have just lost contact with Commander Koenig and Moon base Alpha."

Posted by: DavidByron on March 22, 2003 07:38 PM



Schrodinger's pantsuit

Posted by: eric on March 22, 2003 07:44 PM



Proudly support our country's color-coded Terrorism Alert System.

You too can purchase this fashion statement representing all the colors of the terror alert rainbow - designed by Ashcroft Fashions (or something like that).

Posted by: InMarin on March 22, 2003 07:50 PM



Poker night didn't go well for Ms. Clarke, apparently.

Posted by: J. Michael Neal on March 22, 2003 07:50 PM



Mother of all fasion disasters.

Posted by: P.B. Almeida on March 22, 2003 07:56 PM



By any chance is her last name Trafficant?

Posted by: P.B. Almeida on March 22, 2003 07:58 PM



"Both these jackets were HALF OFF!"

Posted by: MisterX on March 22, 2003 07:59 PM



"It's amazing what a hot glue gun and a little imagination will do!"

Posted by: MisterX on March 22, 2003 08:00 PM



Proof that we're torturing enemy combatants.

Posted by: eric on March 22, 2003 08:07 PM



On the plus side...the suit came with a free grind organ and capuchin monkey!

Posted by: sean on March 22, 2003 08:11 PM



Girls Gone Wild - the Republicans

Posted by: here kitty kitty on March 22, 2003 08:17 PM



S-s-s-addam and the Jetssssssss...

Posted by: beerwulf on March 22, 2003 08:18 PM



What an atrocity. In another outfit this gal would look very doable. Not like that.

Posted by: Sullivan-fan on March 22, 2003 08:19 PM



Renowned superhero, Metamorpho, the Element Man, joins the war effort.

http://www.toymania.com/news/messages/2018.shtml

Posted by: Chet on March 22, 2003 08:19 PM



Yeoman Rand makes her move on Captain Kirk.

or

Never make a bar bet you can't afford to lose.

Posted by: Gracie on March 22, 2003 08:20 PM



The Fashion industry's "Shock and Awe" campaign.

Posted by: braincramp on March 22, 2003 08:22 PM



I always wondered what happened to the Partridge Family's bus.

Posted by: adam on March 22, 2003 08:23 PM



The Pentagon once again demonstrates its audacity.

Posted by: bad Jim on March 22, 2003 08:31 PM



The love-child of David Bowie and Laurie Anderson, supragenius progenitor of PNAC's imperial strategy, reveals the uniform which all American citizen's will required to wear in public as of 9/11/2003.

Posted by: Ratmoler Hamstak on March 22, 2003 08:40 PM



"Yes I am Karen Hughes. The Liposuction Worked! But I'm still a tad depresed."

Posted by: David Ehrenstein on March 22, 2003 08:44 PM



Today I'd like to announce the formation of a new department in the Pentagon, the Office of Total Fashion Unawareness.

Posted by: TK on March 22, 2003 08:44 PM



Hey, Tori, Kajagoogoo called and they want their clothes back in time for the reunion tour!

Posted by: Atrios on March 22, 2003 08:44 PM



Hey, Tori, Kajagoogoo called and they want their clothes back in time for the reunion tour!

Posted by: Atrios on March 22, 2003 08:44 PM



(visuals at the link)

Posted by: Atrios on March 22, 2003 08:45 PM



Jean-Luc, i cannot tell you how critical this is to the Federation, you being French and all.

Admiral Two-Tone out.

Posted by: cynic on March 22, 2003 08:46 PM



"coloring with chimpy."....."fashion of mass destruction."

Posted by: tim on March 22, 2003 08:47 PM



1) Fashion Foopah

2) Torie and her Technicolor Blouse

3) She had a little too much Gin with Rummie

4) "I just came back from my jog and they told me I had to go out in my sweatsuit. What could I do?"

5) First embedded journalists, now embedded pastel colours.

6) Shock and Awe Part Deux: Blinded by the blouse

7) "Damn it, this is what happens when we bash the French -- it puts 90 percent of my wardrobe out of commission!"

8) Those Tories never had much fashion sense!

9) "All I need now is makeup from Kat Harris and I'll really look great. Get her on the horn right now commander!"

10) Live from the Pentagon, its SATURDAY NIGHT!

Posted by: dcsq on March 22, 2003 08:50 PM



"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Posted by: eric on March 22, 2003 09:07 PM



Images don't appear to work, so here's a link

Posted by: Perpetual Newbie on March 22, 2003 09:09 PM



"Oooh, I never get to wear that smashing 8-color number!"

Posted by: mert on March 22, 2003 09:13 PM



All hope for winning the war is now lost, as top Pentagon officials have started going bonkers. Pictured above, Tori Clarke demonstrates the newest tool in the war against "photoshop-doctoring terrorism".

Posted by: jesus on March 22, 2003 09:16 PM



Tori Clarke unveils her own "Weapon of Mass Distraction."

Posted by: Brian C. B. on March 22, 2003 09:17 PM



Schlock and Awe.

Posted by: Jodi on March 22, 2003 09:28 PM



Somebody beat me to the Partridge Family punchline. That is truly hideous. It was never in style.

Posted by: gttim on March 22, 2003 09:30 PM



Fashion DON'T

Posted by: Sandee on March 22, 2003 09:36 PM



Heads.. evil.. tails.. MORE EVIL

Posted by: td on March 22, 2003 09:38 PM



Damn it. The new cammies developed for assaulting French pastry shops were supposed to be kept secret until F-Day.

Posted by: Gen. JC Christian, Patriot on March 22, 2003 09:40 PM



"I'm going to be on global television, what should I wear?"

Posted by: PoliBlogger on March 22, 2003 09:49 PM



brings a whole new meaning to the question "pink or brown"

Posted by: matt on March 22, 2003 09:49 PM



Oompa Loompa....dupa de doo...

Posted by: Khanada A. on March 22, 2003 09:53 PM



1. "Now I've gotta get this press conference over with soon, I've got to host the 'Turquoise Hour' on the Home Shopping Network right after this."

2. This war is brought to you by the 31 wonderful flavors at Baskin-Robbins.

3. "Yes, there's a 50-50 chance that Saddam is still alive, and critically wounded...but I think we know how to finish him off."

4. "Have you heard about the going out of business sale at Kmart?"

5. "Why yes, I am color blind...how could you tell?"

6. "Just remember--sort out all your clothes BEFORE you put them in the washer."

7. "You'd be amazed what you can do with a little bit of construction paper and a bottle of Elmer's glue."

8. "Yes, this war is costing us hundreds of millions of dollars...but we have been able to cut some costs recently."

9. "You'd never believe that this jacket is reversible...if you just turn it inside out you get a...hey, wait a minute."

10. Be sure to get Mattel's new "Pentagon Barbie." She's cut her hair and she drive's the Malibu Tank...GIRL POWER.

Posted by: Kenny Embry on March 22, 2003 09:57 PM



United Federation of Planets spokesperson citing Prime Directive as reason for nonintervention policy in US-Iraq conflict

Posted by: bleh on March 22, 2003 09:57 PM



I'm just afraid that Iraqi psyops operatives will disable our troops with laughter by letting them see these pictures.
(Although it was really the above captions that had me laughing so hard I could hardly breath or see)

Posted by: unitron on March 22, 2003 09:59 PM



"But," the UFP spokesperson added, "we'd phaser your imperialist butts if we had our choice."

Posted by: bleh on March 22, 2003 10:04 PM



Is David Bowie the new BBC anchor?

Posted by: Yehudit on March 22, 2003 10:06 PM



Psyops!

Posted by: PoliticaObscura on March 22, 2003 10:12 PM



"I made this dress myself with a $600 hammer."

Posted by: Laurence Simon on March 22, 2003 10:13 PM



if Rumsfield designs it, you wear it (sigh)

Posted by: chris markle on March 22, 2003 10:18 PM



Gotta Getta Gund.

Posted by: Rawruff on March 22, 2003 10:21 PM



you should see the panties...

Posted by: chris markle on March 22, 2003 10:24 PM



Hey! This could'a been a burkha, you know.

Posted by: DougM on March 22, 2003 10:26 PM



obviously she's scizophrenic. she wants to be all war like the boys, but the little bit of feminine in her pops out with that pink. sort of lesbo, sort of gay, sort of pimp. BUT GREY BLUE???

sigh. we are talking poopican, at least she ain't wearing blood red.

Posted by: pansypoo on March 22, 2003 10:46 PM



Today my Mondrian, tomorrow my Brache, Monday, hmmm...Pollock, Tuesday...Crayons & Rayons

Posted by: egg on face on March 22, 2003 10:54 PM



King George II's Court Jester.

Posted by: DrFrankLives on March 22, 2003 11:06 PM



Ross - Dress for less - clearance item.

Posted by: Luxor on March 22, 2003 11:15 PM



"Now I will stop for questions. Yes, in the front row...with the sunglasses."

"Ms. Clarke, why do you hate America?"

Posted by: VomitComet on March 22, 2003 11:26 PM



"Due to the high cost of this war, we can no longer afford excess graphic artists. Now demonstrating ready.gov's new 'If Saddam uses WMD, nearby clothes may become partially radioactive' warning, Tori Clarke."

Posted by: HexEnductionHour on March 22, 2003 11:30 PM



God, you guys are so silly. This is for the new Pentagon commercial: "The softer side of FEARS."

Posted by: Susie from Philly on March 22, 2003 11:47 PM



Wild Eyed Boy From Freecloud

Posted by: guy on March 23, 2003 12:00 AM



1. "Mistakes were made."

2. A Partridge Family Retro.

Posted by: Don on March 23, 2003 12:18 AM



1) Overheard Iraqi peasant girl, "If that's what Freedom looks like, I'm not sure I want any."

2) The map new Federated Republic of IraqExxonKurdishShiaIslamabad.

Or... 3) Trust us, we're from the future.

Posted by: andrew b. on March 23, 2003 12:21 AM



She looks like a pimp with that jacket.

Posted by: Cooper on March 23, 2003 01:18 AM



I'M TOTALLY COLORBLIND!!

Posted by: Joe Blowe on March 23, 2003 01:49 AM



"Let's dance.
Put on your red shoes and dance the blues."

Posted by: MisterX on March 23, 2003 01:59 AM



Her outfit was a code to high-ranking officers out in the field.

Posted by: Mary on March 23, 2003 02:52 AM



Why can't these Republicans ever be satisfied? First, there was Reagan's War On (some) Drugs ... Then there are the Bushes two wars with Iraq. Now this ... This horrible, senseless and inhuman War On Fashion. Hasn't there been enough bloodshed? Haven't enough people been hurt already. *Must* the horror continue?

While the suit looks like it is from the Crayola Dress-Like-A-Dipshit catalog ... Tori appears to be having more of those inconvenient "Top or Bottom" issues.

Posted by: Dutch on March 23, 2003 02:54 AM



(sung by Bon Jovi)

"You give fashion a bad name!"

Posted by: Newly Blind on March 23, 2003 03:40 AM



"The title of my lecture is European Modernist Painting: Cubism, Futurism, Neo-Plasticism, and to illustrate..."

Posted by: eric on March 23, 2003 03:46 AM



I'm here to announce that we just sent one of those mean-assed bouncing balls out after Number Six on the orders of Number One. The operation is under the supervision of Number Two. The citizens of The Village can rest assured that we WILL have information; by hook or by crook, we will...

Posted by: Ron Drake on March 23, 2003 04:22 AM



"The title of my lecture is The Dadaist Spirit in 21st Century Military Thought: A Re-evaluation, and to illustrate..."

Posted by: eric on March 23, 2003 04:42 AM



Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Farm Team.

Posted by: Caca Rhodes on March 23, 2003 04:57 AM



Military Chic : The first dress fabric in Admiralty Disruption #33

Posted by: Alan E Brain on March 23, 2003 04:58 AM



This outfit comes in mighty handy at those late night office Twister sessions with General Franks.

Posted by: Caca Rhodes on March 23, 2003 04:59 AM



"People of Earth! The path you are on is madness! Those of my world once hated and feared the 'others', those who were pink on the right, and grey on the left, but no longer. . ."

or, how about

"The fashion police were on the scene in minutes. She was pulled into a tasteful black van, sedated and wrapped in little black number from Dior for 4 hours. . ."

Posted by: epist on March 23, 2003 05:06 AM



It's her tribute to Lileks.

Posted by: julia on March 23, 2003 09:09 AM



Cover that up! - John Ashcroft

Posted by: moeman on March 23, 2003 09:15 AM



But they didn't understand it
And I tried to make them see
That one is only poor
Only if they choose to be
Now I know we had no money
But I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me

Posted by: winnard on March 23, 2003 09:39 AM



Sadam Hussein did this to me and he is planning on doing this to your children too!

Posted by: George Will on March 23, 2003 09:50 AM



This is what happens when you base your wardrobe on Windows color schemes.

Posted by: CiLoCo on March 23, 2003 09:53 AM



See what happens when you piss off your Stylist.

Or

But it worked for the Addy's!

Posted by: tman on March 23, 2003 10:36 AM



The new Number Six, I presume?

Posted by: Brian on March 23, 2003 10:45 AM



If there are rumblings in Southern California today, it won't be an earthquake, it'll be the deceased movie fashion designers all turning over in their graves.
The court jesters of old had better fashion sense.

Posted by: mack on March 23, 2003 12:30 PM



This outfit was from the same designer who put the tutu and ribboned legs on Lara Flynn Boyle at a recent awards show.
(I think that outfit was since burned in the incinerator.)
Well, at least it directs one's attention AWAY from Clarke's face...and maybe that's the idea.

Posted by: mack on March 23, 2003 12:35 PM



Aaaagh! She's a "walking birth-control device"!!

Posted by: Marilyn on March 23, 2003 12:37 PM



let me guess....the light bulb in Clarke's closet is burnt out, and it's really a leftover outfit from Halloween.
Either that or she lost an election bet...big time!

Posted by: mack on March 23, 2003 12:38 PM



Administration officials demonstrated the wearable Terror Alert Level Suit Jacket today, perfect for the security-minded businessman...

Posted by: Craig on March 23, 2003 01:04 PM



OOOPS!

Civil Servants on Saturday Mornings -- not for public consumption...

Posted by: theresa on March 23, 2003 03:36 PM



Pentagon responds to charges that it committed atrocities that offended the world's sensibilities.

Posted by: Zrusilla Ugsome on March 23, 2003 04:34 PM



Friends don't let friends dress drunk!

Posted by: ann on March 23, 2003 04:45 PM



q: Do I look too 'Conservative' in this?

ands:No dear, the Iraqis will love it. It's so ...liberating.

Posted by: aria on March 23, 2003 05:46 PM



Must've had the 'Shit! I can't find decent to wear; I'll just wear this! blues. Yep - I also thot Neopolitan!

Posted by: kleekit on March 23, 2003 05:50 PM



Well they fixed the vertical hold but now the tint is all screwed up.

Posted by: 0dysseus on March 23, 2003 06:06 PM



"Does anyone have a question on a subject other than the Partridge Family's wardrobe?"

Posted by: 0dysseus on March 23, 2003 06:11 PM



The fashion theme introduced to mark the New American Century is Harlequin.

Posted by: stumpy on March 23, 2003 07:23 PM



I always suspected dogs were colorblind. . .

Posted by: dottiemeister on March 23, 2003 08:14 PM



Satan and her Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat!

Posted by: dottiemeister on March 23, 2003 08:16 PM



Clear Geneva Fashion Convention Violation!!

Posted by: Ronan on March 23, 2003 08:19 PM



"I'd like to thank the Academy..."

Posted by: Kevin McGehee on March 23, 2003 08:35 PM



"Intelligence sources indicate that Saddam may be holed up in a Mark Rothko exhibition. This new camouflage will render our Special Forces virtually undetectable."

Posted by: Brett on March 23, 2003 09:13 PM



A Starship Troopers Air Marshal

Posted by: M on March 23, 2003 11:38 PM



What...This? Laura Bush let me borrow it!

Posted by: Adam D. Sperry on March 24, 2003 02:00 AM



so far,

Satan and her Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat!

and

"Intelligence sources indicate that Saddam may be holed up in a Mark Rothko exhibition. This new camouflage will render our Special Forces virtually undetectable."

are neck and neck for first place.

She really does look like a moldy spumoni, but that's not as funny.

Posted by: julia on March 24, 2003 09:36 AM



Learned how to dress from McGyver. It's amazing what you can do with construction paper and electical tape!

Posted by: goddessothestax on March 24, 2003 11:27 AM



The first casualty of war is fashion sense.

Posted by: R.C. Sanders on March 24, 2003 12:02 PM



Shock and Awful
or
Hey lady, the artist formally know as Prince called, he says he changed his name back Prince and he wants his jacket back.
or
You piss off the French and next the thing you know their sending you their Fall 1983 reject line.
or
This is the last time I'll answer that question, Yes I was not high or drunk when I put on this jacket.

Posted by: Neil R on March 24, 2003 12:41 PM



whoa...I am so high...do you have anything to eat...dude where is my car?

Posted by: ann Freedom on March 24, 2003 01:51 PM



"The Partridge Family called - they wan't their bus back."

Posted by: Skip Haughay on March 24, 2003 01:53 PM



this delightful ensemble really goes well with her face.

Posted by: rg3rbick on March 24, 2003 01:55 PM



No semen stains to be found on this dress.

Posted by: Skip Haughay on March 24, 2003 01:55 PM



Jacket by Two-Face.

Posted by: Skip Haughay on March 24, 2003 01:59 PM



Hate to ask the obvious, but did anyone turn off the lights and see if that thing glows?

Posted by: marshalldunn on March 24, 2003 02:27 PM



A good reminder to always separate the whites from the brights!

Posted by: Suzie on March 24, 2003 02:48 PM



Cosmopolitan...or Neopolitan?

Posted by: Anon on March 24, 2003 02:54 PM



Hey, don't make fun of her just because she's colourblind! ;-)

Posted by: Joerg on March 24, 2003 04:16 PM



Here we have Arlecchino, however, only very rarely do we see the themes of war and tyranny in Commedia dell'Arte.

or

Once again, we are reminded of the early nineties.

Posted by: marzipan on March 24, 2003 04:34 PM



The World is Black
The world is white
I bombed by day and
Dressed by night.

Posted by: librarian on March 24, 2003 05:04 PM



She can dance if she wants to.
She can leave your friends behind.

Posted by: Tomboko on March 24, 2003 07:01 PM



Gives a whole new meaning to the term "flak jacket".

Posted by: artguy on March 24, 2003 09:09 PM



War ends as Iraqi soldiers tearfully surrender, beg for mercy when Pentagon unveils new POW uniforms.

Posted by: artguy on March 24, 2003 09:27 PM



Fashion of Mass Confusion

Posted by: Peter Beil on March 24, 2003 10:36 PM



"Sock it to me!" -


(Anyone who's seen "Laugh-In" should get that one.)


Posted by: Moe Golden on March 25, 2003 12:48 AM



"Sock it to me!" -


(Anyone who's seen "Laugh-In" should get that one.)


Posted by: Moe Golden on March 25, 2003 12:48 AM



I guess we now know where Afghanistan's heroin has gone.

Posted by: Anthony on March 25, 2003 12:50 AM



Tom Ridge announces all-new Terror Alert color scheme; JCPenny responds with new line of color-coded "Terrorwear". Jaclyn Smith denies comment.

Posted by: artguy on March 25, 2003 03:44 AM



As a protest against the American attack on Iraq, Ms. Clarke's French clothing designers replaced her Haute Couture with La Merde du Jour.

Posted by: Daringest on March 25, 2003 04:46 AM



And now as a courtesy to you the viewer, we present the White House television test pattern.

Posted by: m l on March 25, 2003 09:57 AM



Why We Fight!

or:

Color vision is the first casualty of war.

Posted by: SqueakyRat on March 25, 2003 12:28 PM



Move over Beau Brummell

Posted by: Lisa on March 25, 2003 05:09 PM



Presenting the 2003 women's fashion line................................................In the new color: TECHNICOLOR RAINBOW!!!!

Posted by: John on March 26, 2003 12:21 AM



Torie Clark reacts angrily to criticism she is a leftist-pinko

Posted by: John on March 26, 2003 10:39 AM



Dude...should have stayed away from the brown acid.

Posted by: Chris on March 26, 2003 02:49 PM



The latest US Military fashion made from the torn garments of dead Iraqi children (but we don't really know if it was our bomb or not.....)

Posted by: Olive on March 26, 2003 06:19 PM



Let This Be Your Last Battlefield (she even looks like Frank Gorshin)

Posted by: Lisa Ramaci on March 26, 2003 10:01 PM



Tom Ridge told me to wear it, ain't he kinky? (giggle)

High alert I point to my left shoulder. Severe, I point to my right shoulder.(giggle)

Posted by: Karl Noyes on March 26, 2003 11:00 PM



"Danger WIll Robinson, Danger!"

Posted by: Shelley on March 27, 2003 10:58 AM



EXACTLY what to wear when you don't want people to remember what you said!

Posted by: RM on March 28, 2003 10:16 PM



Brought to you by the same person who coordinated our diplomatic approach to the Iraq crisis.

Posted by: Doug Gall on March 29, 2003 12:14 AM



The prototype uniform for the new Star Trek series, "Enterprise."

Posted by: Mike on March 29, 2003 08:41 AM



Rummy's strategy skills, Powel's diplomatic abilities and Clarke's fashion sense...

Holy Mother of Pearl ... it's a trifecta!

Posted by: Gracie on March 31, 2003 04:42 PM



"looks like she was dressed by a color-blind circus clown."
(Mr Blackwell)

Today she was wearing a hot pink vest ... a nice contrast to those oh so dreary scenes of black smoke in Bahgdad!

Posted by: Dawg on March 31, 2003 08:20 PM



She's like that totally Miami-vice guy who wears those weird pastel jackets, she's being like so totally contempo by not scrunching the sleeves up to her elbows.(Cuz that would be a little played out and too corny) She should totally be wearing like white pumps with a 1" heel with this ensemble. Radical!

Posted by: Alanis Morissette on April 1, 2003 03:41 AM



Please don't touch me today, Donald.

Posted by: Cynthia Heimel on April 1, 2003 12:03 PM



She looks marvellous - and she certainly got some attention. Well done that designer, and well done that lady for wearing it

Posted by: Roz on April 1, 2003 01:08 PM



She's obviously color blind but doesn't she have friends?

Sadly her protocol officer was never heard from again.

At last! A fashion line from Playdoh!

Posted by: dietz and sam on April 2, 2003 09:42 AM



Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's sister,
Dr. Lame and Mrs. Contrived.

Posted by: Shinako Fiorini on April 2, 2003 11:48 AM



The only woman in government that
actually wears the litmus test for
public opinion.

Posted by: Atrox on April 2, 2003 11:54 AM






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