Little-known facts about Powell's vial of powder

Few people know this, for it was not designed to be believed. I have these facts from an anonymous inside source that promises it is all true.

The mysterious white powder in the vial that Colin Powell held up at the United Nations was filled with a powerful hallucinogen, LSD, mixed with the most addictive form of crack cocaine available in the D.C. area.

They called it "Nuclear Mushroom Cloud," for its amazing potency and its deadly allure. Originally imported from Israel by long-haired Likudniks with a shipment of meth-hummus, "Shroom-Cloud" quickly became a favorite drug at neocon bisexual child-prostitute orgies that dominated the Washington social scene during the Bush administration's heyday.

Unfortunately, NMC's amazing, sexual free-for-all highs were offset by a host of unsavory side-effects. These included terrible headaches, stuttering, forgetfulness, verbal lapses, paranoia, sudden violent outbursts, face shootings, megalomania, irrational hatred of science and nature, total disregard for the law, secrecy, collecting expensive shoes, and a tendency to seek out foreign conflicts.

more after the jump

Today many in the administration have managed to tear themselves free of NMC's soul-eating influence, but aftereffects linger. We see bitterness, anger, depression, along with a longing for the good-old days of wild, animalistic child-prostitute sex. Some think another war might cheer them up, but others have resigned themselves to a long and painful future of cold-turkey, the vanilla oatmeal drudgery of lobbyist bribes and no-bid contracts. The drug itself is still available from the RNC, but fewer and fewer are buying it.

It's sad to watch people struggle against the worst effects of "Cloud." Some have tried to quit and failed, finding themselves hooked on painkillers like OxyContin. Others appear to tolerate the side effects, but continue to produce more and crazier outbursts of supremely self-important, paranoid gibberish.

It has been rumored that a presidential candidate is even considering running his campaign with staffers stoked on NMC, but my source could not confirm that. I'll stay in touch with him, and wish him luck.

Jimbo92107 February 7, 2008 - 12:51am

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( categories: Humor | Opinion )

egad, that's a hellish brew

satire? sadly, with anything possible by that crew, one could credibly wonder. literally! even that seemingly over the top bit about the child prostitute orgies could be referenced to many human trafficking articles highlighting two places, san francisco and washington, and so on.

hell of a post.

but what really caught my attention was the hellish cocktail. if there's one thing old school hippies like myself easily know and could well testify to is that one never ever ever combines psychedelics with stimulants; guaranteed to drive you round the bend. (later day Ecstasy though seemed to be like a drug that managed to achieve a successful effect in that regard and hence it was like a rebellious kick in the slats to old time rebels. -and really popularized a craze in baby pacifiers lest those crazy wound up ravers grind their teeth to death.) crack and acid? ye godzu...

crack's enough to make enough anyone psycho. but what they call acid these decades isn't really what it should be. high quality LSD would do washington wonders. grace slick got damned close to dosing nixon at the white house once when invited to a school reunion one of the nixon daughters held there, but the SS caught her just before accomplishing it...

this seems like satire but then the specific way you speak of 'NMC' leaves me wondering.

this really was a hell of a post!

Zuma February 7, 2008 - 6:38am

On that "over the top" bit,

Google "Larry King boys town" (that's not CNN's Larry King, BTW).

Gordon February 7, 2008 - 3:27pm

yegodzuuuu.....

...one of my first returns was

http://www.tarpley.net/bush21.htm

chapter 21 of an unauthorized bio of bush.
i can only imagine what the other chapters say.

is nothing over the top any more?

...and i haven't even looked at the other returns yet. i imagine they similarly cover the king/boys town story.

i'd read a bunch of stuff on washington being the eastern US center of the human trafficking story and i don't even recall the king story in particular (though i may had come across it). there was just sooo much material...

Zuma February 7, 2008 - 4:09pm

bio of 41

this is engrossing reading
i'm quickly losing my day
as if i could afford it
but the damn thing is like eating peanuts

http://www.tarpley.net/bushb.htm#Table

Zuma February 7, 2008 - 4:28pm

Webster Griffin Tarpley

Wiki

Can you LaRouche? ;)

ww February 7, 2008 - 4:33pm

jaw agape

haven't gotten to any 'larouching' yet.
just sitting here in another tab in my browser reading with my jaw agape.
J***S F******G C*****T!
why the HELL haven't i heard of this author or his books or any of this material/history before?
why the HELL wasn't ANY of this ever brought up at ANY election of ANY bush to ANY office?
my. god.
i'm up to chapter 4, reading about how they disposed of the US secretary of defense, james forrestal. now *that* i had read some on years ago, in dribs and drabs. but the earlier chapters on the entire financing of hitler, and the later chapters on eugenics, and private armies... all taken as a whole, this first 20% of the book is stunning enough.

....ye godz....

...i think back to 1988, working in the main office of the Miami base of TAMPA airlines, i remember the head of security, Rex Wheeler so proudly had a signed picture of Bush, then CIA head, up on his office wall, and i have to wonder what rex would have thought of the guy if he'd had a copy of this history to peruse...

back to reading

Zuma February 7, 2008 - 5:06pm

Please,

tell me you are joking, Jimbo.

adrena February 7, 2008 - 10:18am

lol Jimbo

did at least file this one under humor :D

Tina February 7, 2008 - 10:21am

My take is a nice fairy tale

compared to the barbaric reality, as linked by Zuma.

http://www.tarpley.net/bushb.htm#Table

Let's keep passing that link around. For Agonistas, Tarpley's Bush biography should be considered required reading.
.
"Adapt or perish." Murphy's Law? Nope, Darwin's Guarantee.

Jimbo92107 February 7, 2008 - 7:28pm

A Cat's Cradle Of Histories

is how History is really recorded in whatever fullness we can best hope for, and this is but one node, but an awesomely good one, fertile with many strands. I say that because for me, this *is* one of the best political histories I've read in a long time but want to keep a good perspective about it. It surely isn't everything, and it of course purposefully Bush-centric. For as much as it covers, it is necessarily terse.

But... With all that said.... Holy Cow.

Anyway, I'm on chapter 22 by now and having come near the bottom of the TOC have found a link to a zip file holding the whole book,

http://www.tarpley.net/bushbook.zip

Zuma February 7, 2008 - 11:12pm

This isn't funny or what I've come to expect from The Agonist. How did this wind up on the front page?

AmDave February 7, 2008 - 1:11pm

I'm sorry

you don't find it funny, snark often meets the FP here.

Tina February 7, 2008 - 1:13pm

Touchy

For somebody who has only been around the Agonist for 48 minutes (at the time of this posting) how did you arrive at such apparently lofty expectations.

Stick around for a whole day and you may have to be anesthesized.

Chickadee February 7, 2008 - 2:00pm

Because it's funny

Oh come on, we have all wondered what the hell these people were smoking.

And where we could get some.

Or did you think those envelopes of white powder floating around D.C. at the time were actually anthrax?

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” ~ Charles Darwin

darwin February 7, 2008 - 2:08pm

Sorry if you didn't think it was funny

But I'm not sorry I wrote it.

Powell and the Bush mob are the worst people ever to occupy the US government, not to mention rule the country. They are a blood-thirsty, greedy, depraved Mafia, and every single one of them belongs in prison.

Now, I can simply say it like that, or I can say it with a bit of humor. I will use humor, for it helps me stave off utter despair.

.
"Adapt or perish." Murphy's Law? Nope, Darwin's Guarantee.

Jimbo92107 February 7, 2008 - 7:36pm

Alternatively

we could discuss how, at the moment this picture was taken, Colin Powell was addressing the united nations of the world and used that opportunity to knowingly weave a fabric of lies - lies that would very quickly lead to the unnecessary deaths of thousands of Americans and their allies, severe injuries to many thousands more, and the completely reprehensible invasion of sovereign nation and the wanton murder of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of its citizens.

Now that's funny.

Or at least it must be because, once the extent of the lies became clear, the US military invasionary force did not immediately lay down its arms and reparations immediately commenced. But they have a great sense of humor. They just kept shootin' and killin' and lootin' and breakin', which is what armies are expert at doing, oh yes, and spendin', an area in which they also have considerable experience. And the real thigh slapper of the whole thing is that, even today, years after attacking the other guy without cause, there's still a debate going on about if, whether or when US forces should leave Iraq.

I don't know what was in that vial, but it must have been some magical substance, because its effects have not only kept the US public sound asleep for years while daily atrocities are carried out in their name, but it's kept Colin Powell's name off the International Court's agenda.

You laughing yet?

Chickadee February 7, 2008 - 3:04pm

Americanisms...

A lot of what is going on in this thread requires one to have paid excessive attention to the foibles of American politicos...

Since I haven't, I attempted to catch up by following the image to it source.

Iranian TV.

Weird.

Anyhoo, anyone with a link to the background on that picture?

John Carter February 7, 2008 - 4:44pm

U.S. Secretary of State

U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell Addresses the U.N. Security Council

Former aide: Powell WMD speech 'lowest point in my life'

_{"Vanity, Vanity, all is Vanity."}

Raja February 7, 2008 - 4:53pm

Thanks...

Interesting.

Just goes to show how little they give a shit for anybodies opinion... that they still have the full transcript of their lies on the Whitehouse.gov website.

One would have thought they'd have been a tad embarrassed and had pulled it quietly.

Basically they figure they have made their billions out of the US taxpayer and nobody is big enough to touch them.

Even if the Dems get in, they have zero expectation of retribution for their actions. Tells you something.

John Carter February 7, 2008 - 6:34pm

Press TV

is just the place that I found the pic that did not make me have to resize it.

Tina February 7, 2008 - 7:35pm

BTW, thanks for the pic

I wondered who found that.
Gracias!
.
"Adapt or perish." Murphy's Law? Nope, Darwin's Guarantee.

Jimbo92107 February 7, 2008 - 8:01pm

It was tempting

to try to find the photo shopped pic of Powell snorting.......but figured if might offend some