Sexual Harassment Training

Q: Oh my god we have to do sexual harassment training at work. It's orders from the home office in San Francisco. Damn it. Apparently our humor was getting too raunchy and our innuendoes were too suggestive and naming the backup server "PornMaster" probably didn't help a whole hell of a lot. So what should I expect? A grainy film from the '50s called, "Sexual Harassment: Don't Do It"?

A:Well, it's probably some video or laserdisc from five or six years ago, with a few scenes of really obnoxious people. It's kitsch enough to be funny enough to lighten the mood. Remember, this comes from the home office, so it's probably not targeted towards the horse porn you guys watch over there. They're probably just covering the bases; if they're going to go down, it's not going to be because of a harassment lawsuit. When Ticketmaster had our little mandatory harassment video thing, I was so afraid that Jack Webb would turn our workplace into an Orwellian nightmare, but the film's description of harassment was reasonable enough that it didn't rule out workplace dating. If _I_ can go through one of those things without turning into a paranoid mess, YOU should have no problem. Some people might even get to keep their horse cock screensavers, with the cautionary knowledge that if anyone complains, they'll just have to take them down and put up a tame lesbian bondage flick instead and everything will be OK.

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