Wife Wants Divorce, Due To Post Pardum Depression ?

Q: Last week my wife came out and told me that she hasn't loved me or been happy since my daughter was born. She was diagnosed with post partum depression last year and only took the prescription for a week. She feels like she needs to be alone. I fear for my one year old daughter, I will be moving in with my parents 4 hours away and she will be put in day care, and then come home to her. She has a history of depression and abusive behavior (towards me). I truly believe this divorce will benefit myself and her because she'll get what she wants, but I don't think it's fair that my daughter will have to deal with her mood swings. I will have a steady job but I will barely get by because I'm a full time student also.

A:There's no chance that she's not my daughter, but I thank you for your response. I do want custody of her, but it's a matter of a place to live and a job that would decide custody for her in court. I left my job to stay home with her. My career makes it pretty difficult to have a normal day care schedule as well. As far as visitation is concerned, she has already told me it will be open to whenever I want to have her. She wants to have custody, but I can have her pretty much every weekend if I so choose. Our assets can be divided however we choose, she basically doesn't want to go to court, and I'd rather avoid it as well. Anyway, that's how that stands. If your wife is that much of a whacko and a threat to your child, fight for custody. I'm stick of all these men in the world so willing to allow the mothers to have the children. It's total bullshit. Men can be just as effective parents. If the two of you can't stay together, then the child needs to be with the one who is most stable. Igor.. what the fuck are you talking about? It's his daughter regardless. He's had her for what, 4 years? You always go too far bringing things that really aren't relevant. He didn't suggest or imply that this kid isn't his so why the hell are you putting that in his mind? Incredible. Get a different job then.. or put off school. This is your flesh and blood we're talking about... not an office with a larger window because you put in the hours... or the extra retirement plan you got because you earned that degree. That stuff can still come later. You can always get that back. You might not be able to get your daughter back. Sure, but fighting an all-out war for custody never did anyone any good, unless one parent is a definitive threat to the child's welfare. IMO, this is a borderline case, and will be viewed as such, unless the OP can show his wife has recklessly endangered the child, or has a history of mental health problems PLUS is not taking her medicine. All we have is one episode of post-partum depression (which is quite common) and a wife who

wants a divorce and is depressed. It is very common for people going through a divorce to be depressed. The judge is going to look at the case, and figure that the mood swings may clear up once she's divorced and out of the relationship, which could be causing her unhappiness and depression. IMO, it's a much better strategy for the OP to bend over backwards to find a way to live closer than 4 hours a way, and share custody for now. Then he can take a wait-and-see approach, and watch the situation carefully for signs that her depression is not improving. If that becomes the case, then he is morally obligated to step in and take over custody, and more power to him.